The #33 Figure Mystery

On February 25th I shared this mysterious #33 M.U.S.C.L.E. figure. I asked the question, “Can you guess this faded color?”

I was shocked that anybody had a guess.

When I saw the figure I had no clue of the original color. It was pure white. There were no hints as I examined the figure.

That didn’t stop people from guessing. Even my oldest son thought he had the answer. He thought it had to be a Green figure. He swore it had some green-tinting to it.

But where did this figure come from? How did it get this way?

It came from, Senate candidate, Jensen Bohren.

This marks the first time a political candidate has ever shared something with the University of M.U.S.C.L.E. website. Will this become a trend? Probably. I imagine future presidents will be sharing their M.U.S.C.L.E. collections here on the website – looking for the important M.U.S.C.L.E. collector endorsement.

Since Jensen Bohren was the first to do it; he has the support of this M.U.S.C.L.E. collector (although I’m not in Mississippi).

How did Jensen acquire this figure? It’s a long story.

Actually, it’s a short story that took a long time.

Jensen was curious how sun-bleached a M.U.S.C.L.E. figure could become. The figure started on a windowsill, but spent the vast majority of time in his plastic case hanging from a rear-view mirror.

Jensen was curious if the original color could be identified. He also didn’t have the heart to damage the figure by cutting into it. Luckily this website is willing to participate in M.U.S.C.L.E. torture in the spirit of research.



This is you last chance to turn away from the M.U.S.C.L.E. carnage.


The First Cut.

Here was the first cut. I was shocked.

I thought this cut was going to instantly reveal the color. I assumed that, even badly damaged, it would be limited to the mainly the surface of the figure. That assumption was 100% incorrect.

The figure was a perfectly uniform white color throughout.

If I hadn’t known the figure started as a different color, then I would vehemently argued it was cast in white plastic.

Maybe the arm was too thin? Maybe that is what allowed the entire thing to change?

Would the same thing happen to the more dense parts of the figure?

The M.U.S.C.L.E. torture continued. Again, the results were shocking.

The Next Cuts.

The results stunned me. I was literally sitting at my desk slack-jawed.

The proof of my shock is the lack of pictures after I cut off the right arm. I was confident I would see a hint of color after I cut off the right arm. I didn’t.

My reaction was instant. I cut the figure in half.

I was still in disbelief. How was there no trace of color?

The Final Cut.

The final cut was out of frustration – not curiosity. Maybe there was a trace of color in the thick head? There was not.

The original color of the #33 figure can be revealed after 15 years. The figure was originally orange.

Thank you to Jensen Bohren for sharing a very fun M.U.S.C.L.E. story. If you’d like to say thanks, or lend him some support, then checkout the following links:
@bohrenjensen on Twitter
Southern Progressives for Jensen Bohren on Facebook

I want to add one final note. I love that the figure is a Class B figure. I imagine that fact pains somebody. It makes me enjoy the M.U.S.C.L.E. torture even more.


  1. #1 by stoneyface on March 1, 2018 - 2:37 pm

    Total idiot move cutting apart a figure like that. Was likely one of a kind and destroyed just for “research”….???

  2. #2 by Eric Nilla on March 1, 2018 - 2:38 pm

    Completely sun bleached, crazy.

    And TheOrgg is a Senate candidate?

  3. #3 by Chad Perry on March 1, 2018 - 2:47 pm

    stoneyface :

    Total idiot move cutting apart a figure like that. Was likely one of a kind and destroyed just for “research”….???

    I assume you are joking.

    Stick a figure in the sun – and boom, you have another one.

  4. #4 by stoneyface on March 1, 2018 - 3:13 pm

    Chad Perry :

    stoneyface :
    Total idiot move cutting apart a figure like that. Was likely one of a kind and destroyed just for “research”….???

    I assume you are joking.
    Stick a figure in the sun – and boom, you have another one.

    That might be your problem, you assume too much.

    Yeah like 15 years later if you’ve got that long to wait.

  5. #5 by Chad Perry on March 1, 2018 - 3:39 pm

    I assume you have a sun-damaged figure emergency. That’s the only reason, I assume, you would need a sun-damaged figure so quickly.

    Unless a damaged figure market has emerged? Based on the number of shitty eBay listings for shitty single figures that might be a fair assumption.

  6. #6 by stoneyface on March 1, 2018 - 4:21 pm

    I never said anything about needing a sun damaged figure. I simply feel it’s unfortunate that you decided to destroy something that took so long to become bleached all the way through.

  7. #7 by Chad Perry on March 1, 2018 - 4:57 pm

    We didn’t know it was bleached all the way through – until he was opened up.

  8. #8 by Lucas on March 2, 2018 - 9:19 am

    Honestly, I don’t think it took the entire 15 years for that effect to take place. A few months in direct sun light would probably be enough to bleach it all the way through.

    Of course, this could only be determined by bleaching and dissecting even more M.U.S.C.L.E. figures, which I am going to set about doing immediately.

    Prepare yourself to be even more offended, Stoney!

  9. #9 by Johnny on March 2, 2018 - 12:53 pm

    I wonder how long it would take to bleah a figure in a UV Curing station (like for Nails or 3d Prints) ?

  10. #10 by SmokinGun on March 2, 2018 - 4:23 pm

    Well you fooled me. I would have pass this figure as a custom made.

  11. #11 by Crunkenstein on March 3, 2018 - 11:58 am

    Upon seeing his tag team partner carved up like a turkey, Devil Magician totally lost his lunch.

  12. #12 by Orgg on April 13, 2018 - 7:32 am

    Lucas, as recently as five years ago there was still an orange tint to the figure. It took over a decade for it to fully bleach.

  13. #13 by stoneyface on April 16, 2019 - 3:57 pm

    sorry. i was infact kidding. my edit did not take

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