Epilogue – Week of June 2nd

I had to do a small update to the site. I’ve noticed it caused some minor formatting issues in some posts. If you notice any, then please let me know – while I’m still interesting in fixing them.

Would you join the Church of M.U.S.C.L.E.? Every Friday will be a religious holiday – so you won’t be able to go to work. I’ll need to work out some other details, but I promise God told me to do it. And he said I don’t have to write a Bible. He just said to print the last 10 years of posts; there are enough teachings in those posts. And it is totally the word of God. You can trust me. Seriously, God said so.

Honestly, how does anyone believe any book “is the word of God?” I can’t imagine blindly believing in a book. If I said the book Not a Box was the word of God, then would you have to believe me?

What if a “church leader” said it? Would it still be ridiculous? If the ansewer is still ‘yes,’ then why does any bible get an automatic pass? Because it is old? Would you want to base your life on the Pyrgi Tablets because they are old?

You’re missing the point. A holy book is a guide to live a good life.

Do you really need a book for that? I guess some people do. That makes me sad. It makes me feel even worse to imagine, in the absolute vastness of space, people think their god is worried about their specific actions. If there was a God, is it worried if you (one singular person in the entire vastness of space) eats meat on Friday or shows your ankles or drinks a cup of tea?

The answer is, “No.”

Sometimes people need something to believe in. They need to trust in a higher power.

I’d like to believe; just like I wish Santa was real. It would be a nice surprise. But I don’t need there to be a Santa. Everything is still ok.

The final argument I find religious people using is miracles. I really hate “miracles.” If it is difficult, or even impossible, to explain, then it must be magical. Miracle stories feel like I’m talking to a time-traveling Neanderthal. You try to talk about it reasonably, but the other person is like talking to a conspiracy nut who thinks the Earth is flat.

Honestly and genuinely, trying to understand the other person’s perspective, you ask, “Why would anyone lie about the Earth being flat?”

Disgusted they’ll reply with something vague – usually involving a higher power controlling things (e.g., NASA doesn’t want you to fall off the edge). Weird how the trend repeats.

But don’t worry. The Church of M.U.S.C.L.E. is the one true religion. God told me. He probably won’t tell you, but I’ll keep you in the loop. Plus, I won’t have to pay taxes – err…, I mean the church won’t have to pay taxes. And please start sending me money. God mentioned that too – I almost forgot.

Four combatants have risen to the top as the winners of their match-ups. Now it is time for those four to battle in the AOTW Battle of the Champions Fatal-Four Way. I always expect these match-ups to be close, but they rarely are close. It’s like a true AOTW champion is a hot-knife through the butter-like competition. Good for them?

Cast your vote and crown this week’s AOTW Battle of the Champions Fatal-Four Way winner. Here are the four combatants:


Remember to cast your vote and crown this week’s AOTW Fatal-Four Way winner:

[poll id=”80″]

Since discovering that our ULTIMATE AOTW Battle of the Champions Fatal-Four Way Winner #1 is still trying to sell her empty box, I like to check in each week.

Eighteen weeks ago it had dropped down to $160. Seventeen weeks ago the price was $149. She sat firm for a period at $145. Twelve weeks ago it dropped to $139 and soon after it dropped to $135. Five weeks ago it hit the new low of $125. Three weeks ago it dropped a whopping five dollars to $120…for a beat-up, empty box.

I went to look this week, and to my surprise, I saw this:

There is zero-percent chance this actually sold. It is an empty box. M.U.S.C.L.E. collectors see crazy things, but this is simply impossible. Plus, there is no feedback posted by either party.

I think she may have temporarily quit.

This is the level-of-asshole it takes to be an ULTIMATE champion.

Amazing. She’s one of the greats.

  1. #1 by Lucas on June 7, 2019 - 9:39 am

    All Hail Satan(Cross)!

  2. #2 by Bad Luck on June 11, 2019 - 7:48 am

    Epilogue has finally gone off the rails.

(will not be published)