Professor Terry, the creator of MMMM, recently had a new idea he wanted to try on the website – Top Ten Thursday (or TTT). Each week he will provide a different M.U.S.C.L.E.-related top ten list. Without any further introduction, here is the inaugural TTT.
The Top 10 Most Inappropriate M.U.S.C.L.E. Figure Names
By Professor Terry
#10
Devil Knight (Figure #92) there are a few figures with the word “devil” appearing in their name but I chose this figure because he looks most similar to what the devil is generally portrayed like.
#9
Satan King (Figure #191) as well as a few “Devil” figures we also have a few “Satan” figures. What gives? References to the Devil and Satan are interesting choices as Figure names for a children’s line. This figure was chosen as the King of the Satan team.
#8
Apollo The Giant (Figure #151) I also could have used Beauty Rhodes here but “Apollo” was probably a bigger star. If you’re going to blatantly rip off professional wrestler names for your wrestling figure toy line then choosing something a little less obvious would be better. The Hulk Hogan figure in M.U.S.C.L.E. isn’t called “Harry Hogan” now is he?
#7
Black Killer (Figure #19) again there a number of “Black” figures but calling a figure “Black Killer” is a bit stereotypical isn’t it? He’s not a white killer but a black killer.
#6
Paper Mummy (Figure #80) a figure based on a roll of toilet paper isn’t exactly an intimidating presence. For me if I was wrestling Paper Mummy I would use every cliche in my promo. “I’m gonna wipe the floor with you” or “How many asses have you wiped this week” funny funny stuff.
#5
ICBM (Figure #118) Now I don’t know what those initials stand for in Kinnikuman but ICBM to me is an Inter-Continental Ballistic Missile that was created by Nazi Germany with the intention of blowing up New York and other USA cities during WWII. It’s a nuclear weapon. Maybe ICBM is a Nazi Figure like the Kinkeshi figures that were left out of the M.U.S.C.L.E. Line but this one wasn’t picked up by Mattel. Makes for an inappropriate figure name and interesting story.
#4
Ameragu Chojin No Bosu (Figure #134) this translates to Boss of the American Chojin (wrestlers) and in this sense it’s not inappropriate at all to put him in American Football gear. What is wrong about this is that this figure is also referred to as “American Rugby Boss” which is all kinds of wrong as the uniform he’s wearing is certainly not rugby nor do most Americans know enough about rugby. Put your hand up if you knew that there are two kinds of rugby. Be honest now.
#3
Benkiman (Figure #44) It’s pretty obvious but Benkiman translates into Urinalman. Why have a wrestler based on a urinal? If you need to take a piss during the match you don’t need to leave the ring! Word is that he tried to flush a Kinnikuman down his toilet but Kinnikuman escaped by stuffing his jocks there and clogging the drain. Wildly inappropriate but I guess the creators of this figure were “taking the piss.”
#2
Dickieman (Figure #208) Need I say anything about this figure? Why not just Terryman’s Apprentice or Texas Man?
#1
Junkman (Figure #127) this might be a surprise to some but here’s the explanation. Junkman is the only M.U.S.C.L.E. from Australia. Being Australian myself I will tell you that we always refer to the male genitalia as “Junk.” So the only figure from Australia is called “dick & balls man” awesome and damn inappropriate.
Hope you enjoyed the first “TTT” be back next week with another top 10 list.
