UofMUSCLE.com – M.U.S.C.L.E. Figures from Mattel

The first auction didn’t have any bids with it’s $59.99 opening bid price. In response to zero bids, the seller set a new BIN of $59.99. I wish there was a font that properly showed the copious amount of sarcasm I needed when I say, “Brilliant.”

The second poster hasn’t sold and will never sell for $122.99. The third and fourth auctions ended with pretty reasonable final prices. Not much else to say.

It’s been about a month since the last AW. Taking a break from eBay always results in me being shocked by what I see. This time I was shocked by both cool listings and not-so-cool listings.

The first auction, Lot of 68 Vintage Muscles Figures, Flesh and Colored, Red, Purple, Green, etc, shocked me because it doesn’t contain a single Class A figure. It’s kind of a miracle.

Maybe it seems shocking because the opening bid is about $313, plus about $40 for shipping. That’s about $353 for 68 figures or $5.19 per figure.

Obviously Canadian listings are not guaranteed to contain a Class A figure. However, Class A figures appear more frequently in Canadian listings – especially Western Canada. (Unless you lie about the item’s location.)

Maybe it’s the price combined with the lack of Class A figures that caused my bewilderment.

There is a “Make Offer” option. In the auction description the seller said:

I know some of these figures can be rare but I would not know which ones are rare or if there are rare figures in my collection. For this reason I have set the buy it now high with a best offer option. This way a good price can eventually be determined.

I don’t think the seller is going to accept the “good” price of $42.50.

The second listing, Mattel M.U.S.C.L.E. Lot of 74 Figures Kinnikuman Bandai, shocked me because it filled me with optimism.

The listing started at $0.99. Wow.

How awesome is that?!?!

M.U.S.C.L.E. collectors will always find good stuff. They will pay for it too. Why do sellers pretend they know more than the people that collect the figures?

Because they are hoping to snag one impulsive person. That seems icky to me; like a boiler-room taking advantage of senior citizens.

Oh, and there is a Satan Cross in the lot.

The third listing, m.u.s.c.l.e. man 001 figure red, is part of an abhorrent trend. It is a trend that I can’t explain, understand, or suppress.

An utterly unremarkable single figure listed for a preposterous price.

This one is a Class C #1 figure. A fair price, at most, would be $1 for the figure. This listing has it with an opening bid of $50.

What fuels this insanity? Greed? Ignorance? Both?

Could it be that simple? If it is that simple, then why does it continue? What is happening that validates listing these absurd auctions?

What has to happen to make it stop? How do you stop historical levels of stupidity?

I don’t think there is anything we can do. That’s a bummer, but I’d love for someone to tell me I am wrong.

Thankfully the next listing is the pickled ginger that we need.

The fourth listing, M.U.S.C.L.E. Men 28 Packs Complete with Packaging, All 4 Plus More!, is awesome.

The listing starts at $25 and has free shipping. That seems incredibly fair – especially because the 28-packs are full of figures, plus a handful of extra figures.

I wouldn’t be surprised to see this lot end near $100 (although that’s more than I would pay for it).

No matter the final price, the fourth listing makes this seller look quite foolish. In fact, it makes him look like a fucking idiot.

“But that listing has a poster!”

Yeah, but it’s in shitty condition. All of the stars are colored in. I think that’s worse than damage around the edges.

Finally, the fifth listing, M.U.S.C.L.E Men – Satan Cross Figure – Mega Rare #236, made me laugh.

The use of “Rare” in the auction description is often an indicator that the listing is garbage. The use of “Mega Rare” is just hilarious. The $150 BIN makes the listing even funnier.

But the final punchline comes from the auction description:

This is a rare monster in my pocket figure. HARD TO FIND.

Classic.

Fucking classic.