Auction Watch #321

There were quite a few auctions in last week’s AW. I’m hoping I can get through them all rather succiently.

Let’s start with the listings that had $0.99 opening bids.


I still don’t have any understanding about that $27 lot, but that’s M.U.S.C.L.E. collecting. Sometimes there are just incredibly dumb bidders. You can neither fix nor deter pure stupidity.

What about the other listings?

I said that I would not be surprised if all of these lots sold. I could see bidders trying to pouch on these in the last few minutes – even if the per figure price isn’t awesome.

I still found myself surprised. Only two of the lots sold. Is our stupid, little hobby starting to improve? I find myself feeling genuine optimism about the state of the hobby. Maybe pure insanity will once again become the exception rather than the default setting.

The first auction, M.U.S.C.L.E, Vintage 1980s. Catalog of the entire series characters 💥 250+., doesn’t support my previous statement.

This seller appears to have printed and is selling it. Honestly, I don’t know who I feel worse for in this situation.

Let’s start with the bidder. Some fucking clown is purchasing a printed copy of a website. He’s not just going to the site and printing his own. No, no, no.

He’s, as of writing, paying $5 for the printout and then even more to ship it to his house. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?!

“Why are you being so mean to a new collector?”

Look, everybody has to start somewhere. When I started I created a checklist of figures from the pictures on Tim Drage’s UK website. I even shared one of the pitiful final versions of my document that looked like this.

But that leads back to the seller. I would have never considered selling my own checklist. I have never considered selling the Figure Guide I created (although I did dream of turning it into a coffee table book). In fact, I can’t think of a single instance of anybody trying to sell any M.U.S.C.L.E. guide.

Except for this asshole. This motherfucker has the audacity to print someone else’s website AND THEN sell it!

My M.U.S.C.L.E. collecting opinions are not a big secret. Lord knows I’ve spent lots of time talking about $0.99 listings. Do you know my second most passionate opinion?

The use of “rare” (or some synonym) in an auction title. It’s an instant red flag for me. The seller is some combination of greedy, stupid, and/or part of some broader problem.

Why do I feel so confident about that opinion? Because M.U.S.C.L.E. collectors will always find the stuff they care about. We’re like hound dogs. We sniff out the good stuff without any help from an auction title.

Don’t believe me (and the many times I’ve pointed it out on this website), then take a look at the second auction: Lot of 9 vintage Muscle M.U.S.C.L.E. men, flesh colored, with trash can.

At the time of writing, how can this lot already be at $65? It doesn’t say “Satan Cross” or “Super Rare” or anything else hyperbolic.

Because real M.U.S.C.L.E. collectors know their stuff. Simple.

You know who uses all those words? People that don’t have anything worthwhile to sell but think they have a rare, priceless gem. Seriously. Use that lens the next time you look at eBay. It will be shocking to you.

You’ll see stuff like this guy. His “RARE!” 4-pack is beat to hell, covered with terrible stickers, and has a $87.53 BIN. The beautiful 4-pack above sold for $34.

What about this guy? Her Green #153 is “RARE!!!” Wow. Three exclamation points. But wait, she has more to share in the auction description:

The green versions of these figures are much harder to find and this would be a great gift in this condition.

$$$We are shipping this cool toy by First Class shipping, but it will be shipped in a sturdy cardboard box to assure it gets to you in awesome condition!!$$$

A Great Item for that Serious M.U.S.C.L.E. MEN Collector!!!

For those keeping count, there have been eight exclamation point used in only the text I’ve directly copied. The listing has 15 in total.

Oh, and what is the price? A $61.99 BIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I used 16 exclamation points. I needed to show how much more strongly I felt directly compared to the intensity of the listing. Hmmm, not that I’ve used that many exclamation points I fear that don’t work that way. I hope the seller has the same conclusion.)

And before I abandon the second listing, what’s the deal with the #16 figure? Is that torture or an error? It can be hard to tell. I quickly tried to recreate an error and it didn’t really work that time. I’m voting error until I can easily create an error. (Plus, why would someone create one? There’s no market for them.)

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