UofMUSCLE.com – M.U.S.C.L.E. Figures from Mattel

What makes something a M.U.S.C.L.E. figure?

That’s a question I have been struggling with recently. It started as reaction to the Super7 figures, but became a question I needed to answer when Anthropology 400 was created.

I thought it became easier to answer when I considered only the website. The “M.U.S.C.L.E. re-launch” could be Anthropology 300 and the new keshi Anthropology 400. But what about Ultimate Muscle? If I’m going to cover everything, then I need to include that.

Then it dawned on me that I don’t have to do anything. This is supposed to be fun. I’ll do whatever the hell I want with the site.

But I still wonder, what makes something a M.U.S.C.L.E. figure?

For me, it’s not just the name. These figures don’t have the name and they gave me that “M.U.S.C.L.E. feeling.” It’s not just the characters either. If that was true, then I would have liked Ultimate Muscle. I think M.U.S.C.L.E. figures just have a look and tonality that separates them from other kinkeshi figures.

For example, look at these two pictures from Instagram:

I don’t get a M.U.S.C.L.E. feeling from either of these pictures, but I like them as keshi. I can appreciate and like them – even if I don’t need to buy them.

Take a look at these two pictures. The first picture, again, I like it. They are cool He-Man keshi. But the second picture…

I don’t like it. The M.U.S.C.L.E. logo just feels slapped on. I think that’s why I have such a visceral reaction.

When the Purple Skeletor is away from the M.U.S.C.L.E. logo he’s a very nice keshi. When I see the M.U.S.C.L.E. packaging my brain angrily mutters, “That’s not a M.U.S.C.L.E. figure.”

I know I’m in the minority. Can other M.U.S.C.L.E. collectors explain what makes something a M.U.S.C.L.E. figure for you?

UPDATE: THIS gave me that M.U.S.C.L.E. feeling!!!

Logo, No Poster from: eBay

28-Packs were made in every variation except:

• #1 – Thug Busters (No Logo, No Poster)
• #2 – Cosmic Crunchers (No Logo, No Poster)
• #3 – Mighty Maulers (No Logo, No Poster)
• #4 – Cosmic Showdown (No Logo, No Poster)

This is exciting news for only the most extreme M.U.S.C.L.E. nerds. I’m guessing all five of us are pretty excited.

Shit. It could be less than that. If you think this is even slightly cool, then post it in the comments. I am 99.9% sure there couldn’t be more than three comments about this discovery.

I don’t care. I think it’s cool.

Let’s take a look at eBay. FYI, I’ve stopped looking at the BIN only listings. They are always shit.

– Winner of the “Weirdest Sorting Method” award.
– Not a terrible lot.
– $40 and $50. Different, but both terrible.
– $5 vs. $10.
– Wow, these aren’t from Mattel. These are from Kenner.
– AOTW.
– Opening bid is too high, but I liked the lot. A $20 opening bid would have received a ton of bids.
– Actually a lot of zero.
– I wouldn’t spend over $50, but I would spend $50.
– $4.44. AOTW v. 2.0.
– My mistake. The bidder on this figure is the v. 2.0 of AOTW.
– What the fuck am I missing?
– Lots of assholes this week.

Has anyone been using Facebook’s marketplace? It seems like an equally shitty Craigslist.

Sometimes I struggle to wrap-up an Epilogue. Not this time.

I hope you get the hint. I think you’re going to like it.