UofMUSCLE.com – M.U.S.C.L.E. Figures from Mattel

No joke. I thought I was going to get away without an Asshole of the Week. I was kind of relieved. I don’t want to just harp on negative things. Then I saw this auction. Are you fucking kidding me? Clearly the guy thinks he has something special. If you think that, don’t you do just a second of research? I guess not. So a big congratulations to our Asshole of the Week.

– I don’t need this and the shipping feels high, but it’s still pretty damn cool.
– If this is a bootleg, then it is one of the best I have ever seen. It looks AWESOME!
– I love learning new things. This was full of new for me.
– Lot of 79 Color figures with 12 being from the A Foot tribe.
– Flesh 4-pack for $0.01 – ok!
– Lot of 50 Color figures.
– Same seller also has a lot of 45 Color figures.
– 127 mixed figures – plus a few ninjas mixed in.
– Lot of 224 Color figures.
– “Sharp!”
– An ideal lot for Black Foot variant hunters.
– What is crazier? The price tag or the watermark for those pictures?
– Best offer? Go get your fucking shine box.
– I like the bootlegs, but not a great price for them.
– 124 Color figures, but at an awful price.
– Same seller, same story as above, but I always give a quick scan looking for that Non-Poster gem.
– I didn’t pay attention to the price, but I really liked the first picture. It looks nice.
– 2-piece custom rubber Satan Cross
– I think the price tags add to the charm of these 4-packs.
– This might be the only time I say, “You HAVE to see this lot of three figures.”
– I wish these also came in plastic. My boys would freak out.
– Amazon currently has a pretty big discount if you pre-order the PS4.
– When you get to the site, click on “M.U.S.C.L.E.S.” – I guess that’s a good thing, right?
– This has to be one of the strangest lots to ever include M.U.S.C.L.E. figures.
– Read the auction description. I think the delusion goes up to 11 on this one.
– If you are a Warped collector, then prepare to splooge.

This weekend we had a barbeque at our house. One of my friends arrived with a mustache. It immediately drew laughter. We joked that a mustache always looks best immediately after stepping out of the shower, but before your wife has time to yell at you to “shave that ridiculous thing.”

My one friend declared his mustache to be the best. My other immediately pulled out his phone and said, “No, this is better.” Instead of arguing such an important topic I said that I’d put it up on my website and let the people decide.

So please be sure to vote (in the upper left hand corner of the screen) and help us settle one of the most important questions ever asked, “Which mustache looks better?”

The Greatest Mustache of All-Time Option #1

The Greatest Mustache of All-Time Option #2

Voting will end Thursday July 18th and the winner will be revealed in next week’s Epilogue. Vote early and vote often! No vote has ever been more important.

This week the Video of the Week is one you have probably seen. If you haven’t, then you’re in for a treat. Check it out:

But if you really want a good laugh, start reading the comments. On some of them I can’t decide if it’s super funny or super scary.

I usually like to include a beautiful girl – because of my incredibly huge lesbian following. When I came across this girl I thought it was perfect. Plus it reminded me of one off my all-time favorite jokes:

This lawn supervisor was out on a sprinkler maintenance job and he started working on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7″ gangly wrench. Just then, this little apprentice leaned over and said, “You can’t work on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7” wrench.”

Well this infuriated the supervisor, so he went and got Volume 14 of the Kinsley manual, and he reads to him and says, “The Langstrom 7″ wrench can be used with the Findlay sprocket.” Just then, the little apprentice leaned over and said, “It says sprocket not socket!”

Something that works for both the lesbian and plumber fanbase of this website. I’m so lucky.