UofMUSCLE.com – M.U.S.C.L.E. Figures from Mattel

I don’t care that David Letterman is retiring. I don’t care about any late night TV. In fact, I care very little about TV. I can even pinpoint the moment I stopped caring – Game of Thrones. That show came out and everybody said I had to watch it. I didn’t. I literally said to someone, “I don’t have the time or energy to invest in any new shows.” I don’t think I have either.

Wait, that’s not true – Arrow. And that’s almost unfair to include given my Green Arrow obsession. And Cutthroat Kitchen. But still. Two shows since 2011 is not very much new TV. And I’m not one of those “I don’t even own a TV” people either. Fuck those people.

I’m falling way off track.

With David Letterman retiring I’m starting to see stories that CBS missed their chance to “shake up” late night. They should have hired a woman, a Latino, or anything besides a white male. I don’t disagree, but people need to get a grip. Late night TV (at least the talk shows) is a fucking commercial and nothing more. Sure you get a few jokes but the bands and guests are there to move product. The interviews follow the same anecdote, anecdote, plug format.

Late night TV executives aren’t interested in shaking things up. They want a safe haven for people to hock their wares and for advertisers to pay big money because celebrities are on the show. That’s it. A simple business decision and, frankly, a sound business decision.

For those people wanting a late night “shake up,” build a better mouse trap.

UPDATE: Just added this one at 2:45pm Friday.

– Less than 24 hours on this one, but a nice big lot.
– Did other collectors consider this OMFG or custom M.U.S.C.L.E.?
– Those look like very clean Light Blue MUSCLEMANIA figures.
– Warped Magenta #225.
– Another nice warp.
– 61 Flesh figures.
– Right now the price is low, I guess that makes it a good lot.
– $449.95 BIN – guess the item.
– $499.99 BIN – guess the item.
– Why bother listing these? Just leave them in a park for kids to find.
– And this is one you throw up for $0.99.
– Given eBay current options this is one of the best auctions out there.
– “As Husband & Wife Ebayer’s we seek to do unto others as we would have done unto us.” Have other people been making you laugh?
– “NEVER PLAYED WITH.” NEVER. NEVER. Bullshit.
– Does the BIN seem fair but totally unattractive to you too?
– In that condition, it takes some balls to have a $59.99 BIN.
– My gut says the BIN is high. What would be a fair offer?

As I scroll through the M.U.S.C.L.E. auctions I tend to speed up. Once that happens I make some mistakes. For example, was that a Purple #1? No, it was a Dark Blue. Simple things like that. This is the one that stopped me in my tracks this week. I had to go back and make sure I hadn’t seen a SHA 4-pack.

I felt like this match-up didn’t need much introduction. Right? So here’s the next AOTW match-up of 2014. Don’t forget to vote in the upper right hand corner.

AOTW #10 $75 4-Pack

vs.

AOTW #12 47 Figures w/ $150 Opening Bid & $420 BIN

Two years ago I encouraged people to make their own figures. I can’t believe it’s been that long. I’ve continued to play around with it. Sadly I haven’t had enough time to play around and improve. But I still mess around (every now and then) as I eat lunch. The other day I thought, “Hey maybe I’m starting to get the hang of this.”

And then I saw the gif to the right.

It was created by modeling and printing out 50 frames. It took my breath away I was so impressed. But it didn’t bum me out. I didn’t feel like, “Shit. There are people so much better than me.” Instead it was calming – almost inspirational. I felt like, “There’s always someone better. I’m cool with that.”

I don’t know what I saw first? The Audrey II gif or Metal Monkey Studio’s Venus Maneater.

Probably the key piece of information is that I discovered Audrey II first. I quit sports and became “one of those play fags.” Their word’s – not mine. That shit never bothered me. The whole thing is a weird, long story but the important part (for this) is that I really loved that experience of being the voice of Audrey II. If I really step back and think about my life, it’s probably a tent pole event.

Anyways, I saw the Audrey II gif and thought it would be something that I posted in the Epilogue. Just stating that I really liked it, but never knew if I’d find a use for it. Then the UOVII Maneater went up for sale. Perfect.

I may have had an emotional reaction to the Venus Maneater figure, but there is no denying that it is awesome.

Wait. That’s not fair. I always say that you need to have a figure in your hand before you judge it. That’s why I ordered one. But if it is even a fourth as good as the pictures make it look, then I’m going to be a very happy nearly 40-year old many with a little toy.

(I have perspective. I don’t let it bother me.)

What should I end with?

I think something hip, young, and fun will do the trick. I need to shake things up.