Epilogue – Week of November 26th


Say what you will about celebrating the nearly complete genocide of a people; I love that short work week. Did everyone have a good Thanksgiving?

I did, but it was over too quickly. Every six weeks we should get a three-day work week. If I was your dictator, then that would be my promise. Obviously I wouldn’t be a president. If I’m going to be in-charge, then it has to be a dictatorship. Sure, the punishment for eBay shenanigans would be death. But, three-day work week every six weeks. That sounds pretty good to me.

Chad for dictator. Think about it guys.

I’m open to suggestions too. Feel free to make any suggestions in the comments below. Just to get the juices flowing: (1) AOTW nomination gets you 18 months in prison; (2) a single figure M.U.S.C.L.E. BIN listing gets you 24 months in solidary confinement; and (3) Ironhaus toys with every school lunch.

I’m drunk with power. Let’s take a look at eBay as if I was your dictator.

Six months in jail.
Making me think it was a Purple #149, for a second, is 30 day probation.
Sent to a work camp. No hope of escape.
This guy’s live M.U.S.C.L.E. auctions obviously get him death. But this needs to be a public spectacle. This kind of behavior, even if I’m not dictator, can’t be accepted.
Carry on. But I’m watching you.
You’ve lost your internet privileges.
Death.
You’re on thin ice Sandy. Thin ice.
Did you use the word “rare?” I’ll show you rare – life in prison.
I’m turning this case over to my keshi experts. I’ll support their decision.
I feel like this has been listed too many times. Death.
Used the word “nice” in the auction description and took an over saturated picture. 30 days in the hole.
“Please see ALL PHOTOS AND DECIDE FOR YOURSELF.” Obviously. No TV for a week.
This guy has no bids on any of his M.U.S.C.L.E. listings. He has no bids on any listings. He’s really painting me in a corner. No more eBay for him.
Death.
All the bidders got 10 years hard labor. (Probably part of my emerging death industry. Lots of moving people to be killed. Killing people. Clean-up. Hiding bodies. It’s really going to help the economy. Plus it doesn’t take much training; so the jobs are going to be available to everyone.)
Seriously. The death industry is going to be booming.
I want the people to be participants and not just passengers in my dictatorship. $2,500 bounty on this seller.
Used “rare” six times. Death to the seller and five family members. C’mon people.
Death. And I’m opening the 4-pack. Ok, I’m starting to cross a line.

I see it now. There will be some hiccups when I become dictator. I’m willing to put in the work. I’ve wasted nearly a decade on this silly site. Being a dictator would be a breeze.

Plus three-day work weeks every six weeks. I could actually become president with that motto. Nobody steal that, ok?

I could never be president. As soon as the press dug up my old writings I’d be out. (Wow, that was a long way to go for a very old, not very funny, callback.)

  1. #1 by Anonymous on December 2nd, 2017

    You’re a psychopath. The fact that you would even post this sort of thing shows everyone your true character. These type of open internet threats are uncalled for, illegal and are going to be reported. You have gone too far with your posts. You realize you could face jail time for this sort of thing right?

  2. #2 by Chad Perry on December 4th, 2017


  3. #3 by Johnny on December 4th, 2017

    A psychopath? No.
    An a**hole? Yes. That is common knowledge. Ha ha ha!

    Apparently your satire meter has expired, as this is easily recognized by anyone who can rub two brain cells together.

    Go back to your safe space anon-buddy. Step away from the real world (and especially the internet), where people make lots of absurd jokes about lots of absurd things.

  4. #4 by Lucas Rage on December 5th, 2017

    “Anonymous” seems like a real pussy. (S)he should be put to death.

  5. #5 by Anonymous on December 5th, 2017

    You must know each other pretty well then? Birds of a feather flock together. Do both of us a favor and remove my auctions from your tasteless and offensive webpage. 4th link from the top.

  6. #6 by Chad Perry on December 5th, 2017


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