Epilogue – Week of February 18th


Nope. You didn’t click the wrong link.

Nope. I didn’t copy the same picture.

And no, you didn’t click the January 28th Epilogue.

I got another moldy batch of Perky Jerky. SO. GROSS.

“Real beauties here” Agree to disagree.
I wanted that Count Dookula to be Yellow.
Stunned this has a bid.
“This is a vintage toys & Beyond ULTIMATE exclusive, Toy Box premiere auction.” I’ve gone temporarily blind from such intense eye rolling.
“See pictures here for a small sample of these wonderful collectables.” What? If you have a lot of eight figures, and they are all pictured, then how can the pictures feature a “small sample?”
“THE PACKAGING IS BENT AND DOES SHOW WEAR FROM BEING IN STORAGE.” What a fucking understatement.

“I don’t know the names or years of release.” Ok, this made me laugh. What’s the point of sharing what you don’t know?

I don’t have the periodic table of elements memorized.

I don’t know the current stock price of Ford Motor Company.

I like this game. For the rest of the listings I’m going to share something I don’t know about it.

I don’t know why they picked that opening bid.
I don’t know much about Weirdball Wrestlers. I also don’t know why, as of writing, there are 11 people watching this auction. I don’t know why so many people would be interested in this lot.
I don’t know why people put “Rare” in the title.

Is it rare?

Seriously. I think it’s the most cliché salesy thing you can do as a seller. It elicits images of the most smarmy, hard-selling clown constantly saying anything they think you want to hear.

“This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. You don’t want to miss out. Something like this is guaranteed to only go up in value.”

Both racers below use “Rare” in their auction titles. The Purple #153 listing from AW #242 doesn’t use it. The cool gumball card didn’t use it either.

I mentioned that lint-speed and Jason (Doc Moore) are arguably the two greatest M.U.S.C.L.E. sellers on eBay ever. I looked back at their listings. Neither of them have ever used the word “rare” in their auction title. Further proof that those two guys rule.

Do you guys agree? Is the use of “rare” the mark of a smarmy salesman?

Let’s get back to my not-knowing game.

I don’t know why the shipping is so expensive.
I don’t know why the seller went through all that trouble.
I don’t know why so many M.U.S.C.L.E. pictures are taken on TV trays.
I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a worse card back.
I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a bigger asshole.

The eBay seller jwcrc certainly earns a place in the AOTW Hall of Fame.

I had to copy the auction description because it’s a work of asshole art.

Purple Claw Figure M.U.S.C.L.E. Toy RARE

I Cannot end auction early. I cannot except offers for money.

Purple #153 Claw

NEW INFO ADDED: It is said, there is much mystery surrounding the purple claw.

I have not seen a different type of purple before but the website (not my website) Tripod Website features, a light purple claw, as well as a dark one. (EDITOR’s NOTE: Sorry, I had to shorten the link for formatting purposes.)

I do not know how to classify mine. I do not see any that look similar.

I do not believe this is a flesh colored one that got dirty. Why does it look purple or grape? perhaps the color faded a bit? I do not know. It was mainly sitting on a desk, then, before that was in a box. I do not remember what set this was or where it came from. A special m.u.s.c.l.e. board game was said to have a grape or purple claw as well.

Photos may vary in terms of real life (as they are photos.) Seems to be light purple.

I will ship this in a box.

Free gift: I will also include for the winner as a bonus – Snake figure from a gargoyle play set and a gargoyle (unrelated to M.U.S.C.L.E.). Also a, M.U.S.C.L.E. Kinnikuman COBRA vintage wrestler. These have been uncleaned and may be a bit dirty.

I am thinning the collection. Everything here has only been owned by one person.

Wow. Just wow. I’ve read and reread this several times. I can’t decide on my favorite part. Each line is more outrageous than the last. Initially I was leaning towards my favorite line being, “Photos may vary in terms of real life (as they are photos.)”

I decided to go with, “I will ship this in a box.” Classic.

I wish I had curated an archive of terrible stained/dyed/painted M.U.S.C.L.E. figures for the website. The listings are always unintentional comic gold. Luckily I was able to find a few gems from the past: Auction Watch #50, Auction Watch #128, and from forever ago – Magenta Claw.

Can you guys remember any other ones?

Welcome to your weekly installment of “Damn the torpedoes!

vs.

It’s basically September 14th, 2017 again. Can you believe this race has been going on for 5 months and 10 days?

I know it’s not 2 years, 6 months, and 10 days, but it’s still a shockingly long time. The stubbornness exhibited by these racers is astonishing. I wonder what this looks like in other areas of their lives. I’m even more flabbergasted by the thought the stubbornness doesn’t bleed into other areas of their lives. Why would a Salmon #167 be the thing you focus all of your tenacity into?

  1. #1 by plasticfiend on February 23rd, 2018

    Small niche, but extremely passionate Weirdball Wrestlers collectors. I don’t know if the black ones are actually uncommon or not – but I know that when I was collecting them I found both the black and flesh ones less often. Perhaps that has something to do with the watchers.

  2. #2 by Rycci on March 5th, 2018

    “Do you guys agree? Is the use of “rare” the mark of a smarmy salesman?”

    The word “rare” works and probably most effectively as a means of catching someone using it in as a search term in search of a gem. I believe it may be more effective on those for whom English is not a first language and I believe the reverse is true. When I scour Japanese auctions, I sometimes include the Japanese word for rare. I really would not know if what I found is rare or not but I take a peek anyways and the one who included the word rare got a free eyeball on his item.

  3. #3 by Chad Perry on March 6th, 2018



    In search of a gem? No. Just no.

    Give me evidence of a gem being found with the word “Rare” in the title. Your responses feels like platitudes.

  4. #4 by Rycci on March 9th, 2018

    First, I’m going to go look up the word platitudes. Kinda if-y on it. Second, it’s a perspective. It was solicited so I offered mine. It could be right, it could be wrong. Nothing more needs to be added as the perspective is all that matters. If one person takes the time to write it, others have thought it. I think you missed the point.

    (I just looked up platitudes, I don’t agree with your usage)

  5. #5 by Chad Perry on March 9th, 2018

    You understand different perspectives aren’t intrinsically good, right?

    Someone might have the perspective that all Americans should be killed. Not a great perspective in my book. And one that would make me curious why the person felt that way. They would need some pretty strong facts to support that perspective. If they can’t support it, then it really weakens the perspective.

    Giving examples helps to support your opinion.

    Just thinking something doesn’t matter. You might think you can fly. Others may have thought it too. Gravity is going to be an inarguable counterpoint.

  6. #6 by Rycci on March 11th, 2018

    Ok man, that’s a little too deep a rabbit hole of discussion for what I thought would be a friendly site for people interested in m.u.s.c.l.e. I made the gravest of errors of offering an opinion you didn’t agree with and you are coming across a little agro. I’m detecting an obsessive need to be right and that will not be something I debate with. Too bad, the m.u.s.c.l.e is too small to begin with. I’m out.

  7. #7 by Chad Perry on March 12th, 2018

    You can’t support your point of view. That doesn’t make me “agro” or obsessive.

    It just makes your opinion weak.



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